Mental Health and the Importance of Third Spaces

Another bout of think pieces that started seeing more mainstream circulation during the middle of quarantine from COVID-19 was all about third spaces and how necessary they are for the social needs of people. That got me thinking because I didn't remember the last time I had a third place. It was probably in high school with the extra curricular things I did. After that my life became dedicated to school and work. While that served me well in completing degrees and attempting to provide for myself it didn't do great things for my mental health. Since I've come to a privileged place in my life and career (part preparation, part opportunity, part luck) I can begin to experiment what this third place might look like for me.

So far I've experimented with a Gym, a Dance Studio, a community pool, a yoga studio, a nail salon, and the library. Some fit well, others only fit for a period of time. The best example of this for me is the Gym. When we first started opening back up after the pandemic and in an attempt to give myself this elusive third space I joined a gym. Because I didn't have a bunch of workout equipment at home, I felt compelled to do some sort of physical activity for my mental health, and needed a way to be out of the house that also made me feel productive. This membership was bare bones and served me ok. Yes, there were some weird older men at the gym but for the most part having it close by, relatively inexpensive, and stocked with all the equipment that I didn't have at home served me well. Until that is all the little things that bugged me about it meant that when they closed for renovations for a month I just never went back; and when they raised the monthly fee with no added benefits I opted out and cancelled.

The nail salon was always a nice respite where I felt like I was taking good care of myself, until my nail tech (who was also the owner) got kind of comfortable and my appointments started lasting longer and longer and I needed to get stuff done outside of my nail appointment. So when that place was relocated due to renovations to the building it was in, and my nail tech was now across town and not as easily accessible I took this as an opportunity to examine whether this was something I wanted to continue. I eventually tried some other places over the years but just recently landed on doing my manicures at home and treating myself to a pedicure monthly instead.

a bare tree canopy with a faint rainbow shining through, image taken by the author

During all of this trial and error I joined things and started other new places and they always had the same story; they fit well, until they didn't. Until I found a dance studio. It was a place that I always felt comfortable in growing up, having done dance for years in my childhood, and finding a group of adults who also enjoyed this same form of physical activity and a studio that was not only welcoming of adult learners but seemed to rejoice in them made it even easier to see this as my potential third place. Granted, I've only been going for 2 years, but as my second season dancing ends I've already signed up excitedly for my third, added another class onto the 2 I took this season, and am looking into how I can also support my rediscovery of my love of dance at home.

Through all of this exploration I've tried to keep at the front of my mind that I don't have to commit myself to any one thing or any one place (within budgetary considerations of course) in order to ensure that I am doing all of this as a way to prioritize my mental health and support myself as a whole person. It has been a crazy exploration so far that has resulted in so many things; I feel more connected in my local community, I feel like I'm honoring my interests and putting myself first, and I think it's allowed me to continue to grow and develop instead of stagnating into adulthood and getting too stuck into a rut.

Have you established your third place? If not, what's one place you'd like to try on or try out as becoming your third place? Do you have any free third places in your local community that may provide the same kind of internal support?